“Hi this is my first post up here,” I do the characteristic first video pause, “here on Youtube. I wrote out what I was going to say, actually. Then I memorized it. This wasn’t part of that.” This is the second time I am watching this take of the recording. I didn’t catch any glaring errors the first time. This time might be all right, too. Even though this opening is a bit silly it has a nice humble aspect to it, which should help.
“I am here to make a prophecy. I know, I know.” A dramatic pause and then a final, definitive repetition, “I know. We have enough of those. Don’t even know which one to believe.” I left out the word ‘we’ in that sentence, but I think it was understood, and it flows better this way actually. “Well, I have actually been to the future. It’s not important how. Actually, it’s not even really important that you believe that.” Last sentence was a nice ad-lib. “What matters, as with all prophecies that matter, is that you listen and doubt. Doubt is a biggie here. I’m asking that you disbelieve me.” Off-script, but it’s more natural like that.
“The poles are going to flip on the Solstice this year. Don’t ask me why. It has something to do with the Galactic Equator, but I don’t really know anything. I’m not a geologist. Actually it will take a little while for anyone to notice this has happened. None of this will be sudden. It will be creeping slow.
“The point is that by the end of this winter the Earth’s tilt is going to increase by a good degree or two. Geologists will make mention of it, and you’ll hear about it in passing, but it won’t really make the news. The days won’t get longer toward the equinox quite as expected, but no one will really notice anything wrong. Except that there’s going to be a mass of seismic activity. California’s quakes will seem just a little rough at first, but the shelf is going to split, and finally O’Reilly will have his wish and San Francisco won’t be part of the US anymore. Neither will San Diego, LA or Sacramento. It will be separated first by a sizable canyon then swallowed by the sea, and a lot of people are going to die. New York is going to disappear under the Atlantic, too, and we’ll have big glaciers forming on the new points of perpetual night. At the new North and South Poles.” This was off-script. It makes the video a little confusing, but this is my fifth take. How many am I going to make?
I have to connect back to the earthquake thing to get back on script. “There’s going to be a lot of earthquakes and volcanoes in the coming years. This is because the crust of the Earth is going to be trying to right itself. It needs to be moving the other way to match the poles. It can’t just suddenly flip or spin in the opposite direction. It needs to roll. So that extra tilt, it’s going to add up faster and the day to night turn of the Earth is going to slow down every day for twelve years. It will take twenty three for the whole Earth to finally right itself. Twenty three years of absolute havoc. Then another couple of decades for adjustment.
“The good news is that the UN will step in. They’ll get the best scientists all organized to smooth out the massive shifts in weather, set up plans for evacuations and seasonal migrations, and space development will be huge. Actually, there’s plans already in the works for all of this, but I’m not going to make this one of those videos. I’m just telling you so you’ll be warned. The good news is that not everyone is going to die. Mostly only infants and the very old. It’s going to be Hell, but at least we won’t go the way of the pyramid builders. We won’t fade back into simplistic Luddite barbarism.” Too many big and esoteric words. I’m never going to make it as a prophet to the masses. “We won’t blame our sins for the processes of nature.”
“A lot of countries are going to send people to Mars, where the upheaval will be decidedly less intense. Venus is going to get hit by a massive stray planetoid, which will strip a lot of her atmosphere away, set her spinning again and become a Moon. Then Venus will become a target of colonization. She’s extremely rich in potential energy and She’ll stabilize her rotation a lot faster than the Earth and Mars.
“Additionally, when things get really bad, the NSF will finally bring out Stanley Meyer’s inventions and give them to Ford to produce, so that oil dependency will be over and done with, and we’ll all have flying cars with only dry oxygen and depleted hydrogen as a waste product. The smog of industrial society is going to get a swift kick. Then we’ll just have to worry about plastic residue and the Chlorine and Fluoride in the water, and the fact that women’s birth control hormones don’t get filtered out. Not really that big a deal. We’ll adjust.
“There will be higher levels of oxygen though, so bugs are going to be able to get a bit bigger.” There’s a knocking on my door. I’ve still got about three minutes left here. Part of me becomes angry. Another part of me laughs at that part. I’m being compulsive. “People will think more clearly and be generally healthier.”
The door opens. “Ram! Qi gong!” It’s Solomon. “Morning yoga I can let pass. You were a mess.” I remember him shaking me, my eyes opening dumbly and being paralyzed for the next hour. “That makes it all the more important to work your qi now. And get some more food in you.” He’d brought me a pearly-white coconut and a banana after I missed breakfast. The peel and shell are still sitting on the desk.
I feel the jitters of over-concentration, of obsessive focus. I need to get away from the computer. “Okay, okay.” I post the video. I’m sure it’s fine.